Señor Gimpy's Paella

When it comes to men, there are plenty of fish in the sea - especially on the dating site Plenty of Fish (POF). But certain ponds only seem to breed toxic, mutant fish so beware of what you catch. Who knows what poisonous things have seeped into the water where you cast your nets. 

I've already told you about my last catch from the POF pond, Tiny Hand, and tonight I'll tell you about Señor Gimpy. 

Señor Gimpy was from somewhere in South America, and He had moved here to take a job as an engineer. We only chatted for a few days before we met. I didn't know a lot, but I thought he seemed educated and polite so that was a good enough starting place. We agreed to meet at Roja on a Monday night for a margarita. It turned out to be the longest one hour date I've ever been on! 

Señor was much shorter and more slender than he had appeared in his profile pics. (On a side note, this has happened before that someone looked smaller in person. The good news about this is that if it's happened to them, perhaps I might look thinner in person!) 

Anyway, back to the story... He also had a limp and a rather crooked posture. I tried to focus on getting to know him for his personality, but this was very difficult because I could barely understand the man when he spoke! 

His accent was so thick that our conversation was painfully speckled with "what's" and "could you repeat that's." Roja was deserted on this particular Monday, and I could tell the staff were aware and sympathetic to my blind date. My mind was starting to wander towards the cute bartender as Señor was insisting on turning drinks into dinner. He was very sweet and kept asking if I was hungry and offering to order me something else. The wait staff were making frequent checks on our table - most likely because they were betting on the outcome of our blind date - and each time they stopped, he offered again to order dinner. 

I checked my phone for the time, thinking it must have been about 4 hours. I was wrong. 58 long minutes later, we were nearly ready to part ways. He then made several invitations to come have paella with his family. His relatives that lived in Omaha apparently had big paella dinners every week, and he insisted I should come. It actually sounded fun to go to a big Latin family paella party, but I couldn't bear to suffer through more of our difficult conversation. 

I never went out with Señor again, but he did email from time to time. Recently, he also found me on a different dating site, which makes me realize that all the pools must be running dry if I'm experiencing reruns on other sites. He is a sweet man, and I hope he can share his paella with someone special. It just wasn't meant to be me. 

Moral of today's story:  Sometimes you have to throw the fish back in the pond before you make paella. Not just any fish will do when you're cooking such a delicate dish!