Schrödinger's Text

In 1935, Austrian physicist Erwin Schrödinger proposed a thought paradox in which a cat is placed in a box with poisonous gas (or if you use Albert Einstein's suggestion, a keg of gunpowder). Until you open the box, the cat is both dead and alive. You are living in a mental state of duality even though you know it's only one or the other as a possible outcome. The cat can't really be dead and alive, but until you know for sure you have a duality.

I have never put a cat in a box with poison or gunpowder, but I have experienced a duality of thought. Am I mad? Or am I worried? Right now, I'm both!

When a certain man has been known to get very busy with work or other important things, sometimes he doesn't respond to phone calls or texts immediately. That's cool. I understand. However, said man always responds or reaches out within a reasonable amount of time - let's say within a few hours.

Now that it's been over 24 hours, I don't know if I should be worried that something terrible happened like the random shooting I heard about on the news, meaning he could be injured and lying in a hospital bed right now! Or slightly more mild, perhaps meetings went terribly at work and he's been up working all night! Or maybe his phone was stolen and he can't get a hold of me! Note to self:  must refrain from sending selfies until I confirm that a stranger does not have his phone...

On the other hand, in the 24 hours he's been without contact with me he could have met some other girl and decided he never wants to speak to me again! Maybe he just doesn't value me and therefore feels no need to respond to me - not even to let me know he's ok! Rude! Worst of all, perhaps he's been lying to me all along and he's married! He's probably canoodling with his wife right now!

Moral Of Today's Story:  ASSUME THE BEST! The cat could be dead. The cat could be alive. Try not to over-react until you know which reaction is appropriate. 
I'm hoping to open a text or receive a call soon that tells me which emotion is correct: mad or worried! But until then, I am just going to assume the best. Maybe I can put a cat in a box to distract myself...

What's your status?

If you watch movies or tv, read magazines or have even a moderate social life, then you are aware that this present day and age has been defined by the confusing state of our relationships. We've established a "hookup culture" that often leaves people emotionally stilted and unable to form real bonds. We also have a "hangout culture" where people can spend time together in undefined terms until one of them decides to cross the line into either commitment territory or hookup territory. We have such fluid states of relationship that nobody ever knows what's going on. Are we dating? Courting? Hanging out? In a relationship? 

There are some people who ask "what's the difference? Aren't those all the same?" And that's the tricky part. Yes, they could all be the same. But sometimes they're not. 

Courtship used to be clearly defined and even chaperoned. Now I'm certainly not asking for any chaperones on my outings, but I bet a lot of people would enjoy clearly outlined relationship objectives. 

The problem is that there is a period of time where both parties are unsure of exactly what they are and what they want. The not knowing is part of the mystery and the energy between couples. It adds to the flirtations, the intrigue and the daydreamed visions of all the possibilities. So maybe not knowing is actually a good thing...for a short while at least. 

Moral Of Today's Story:  If you want clear definitions, have a conversation. But if you realize that you're still figuring out how you feel/what you want, then keep on enjoying the thrill of the game. And when someone asks  "Are you dating? Courting? Hanging out? In a relationship?"  Just answer "yes."

Glad That Wasn't My Date

A few days ago, I was chillin'with The Boss at his place when we caught some live entertainment. And this time it was not the people in the Penthouse across the street who have no curtains...

Some of you may have heard the news that the next season of Cops! is going to be filmed in Omaha. Well, we caught the live show of that.

While standing by the balcony enjoying this unusually cool July breeze, The Boss and I spotted a couple walking down the sidewalk directly across the street from us. They were arguing loud enough that we could hear the gist of their disagreement seven floors up! Something about the woman walking away and something involving a daughter they have. As the woman kept trying to walk away from the man, he kept blocking her and eventually shoved her against a brick retaining wall. That's when The Boss called 911 to report the domestic disturbance. 

We watched the couple continue to argue and shove at each other as we silently prayed the cops would arrive quickly.  What seemed like ages later (but was probably five minutes), two officers came bounding over on foot from the nearby park where a live music event was happening.

 

They separated the couple and questioned them individually. In another moment a squad car pulled up. Then another squad car arrived. Then a fire truck, and eventually an ambulance appeared. The man was shackled in the back of the first squad car, and the woman was encircled by no less than 10 civil servants! She clearly was enjoying all the attention as she showed off her bruises to all the officers, firemen, and EMT's.

The Boss turned to me and said "There's your Omaha tax dollars at work! In Chicago you only get this kind of turn out for a shooting!"

We tore ourselves from gawking and decided to go enjoy a local Nebraska delicacy, Runza! Too bad we gawked so long that Runza closed for the night.

So on The Boss's Omaha bucket list we checked off "call local police" and "witness domestic disturbance." So we're probably just down to seeing the Henry Doorly Zoo and Runza before he heads back to Chi-Town. 

Moral Of Today's Story:  I'm so relieved that in all my "good lunch stories" nothing violent has ever happened to me. Real men don't hit. End of story. If they do, kick 'em in the junk and run away. 

Secondly, Runza closes earlier than other fast food places. So when you want to go on a Runza date, don't waste all night gawking at scene makers!

Stupid things men say

"I see you're wearing a scarf. Is that to tie me up tonight?" [Wink, wink]

No, dude, it just goes with my dress! I wear accessories not sexcessories! 

"Have you lost weight? You look great! Just think how much better you'll look when you lose the rest of the weight!"

Excuse me, I have to go cry now.

"I'm just not feeling the us thing right now." [jn a text]

Just say it to my face, dude. Oh that's right, you were too busy trying to kiss me when we were face to face a few hours ago. 

"All my friends are getting married, but I just haven't found a special girl yet."

Um, thanks for making it clear that I'm not special to you. 

"Why is a great girl like you single?" 

I know you think this sounds sweet, but in that question you are trying to figure out what's wrong with me. That's ok because I was going to ask you the same question to figure out what's wrong with you. :)

"The Holy Spirit told me to break up with you. I just feel like we're unequally yoked and our visions don't line up and I'm kind of more into blondes right now."

It's ok to break up, but don't blame the Holy Spirit for all of your decisions

"Is your friend single? She's hot!"

Yeah, but she's pretty busy with court appointments after she murdered her ex.

. 

We're dance partners, if you know what I mean...

Every blind date has some initial awkwardness. You make small talk about how you both know the person who introduced you to each other. You talk about the good food selection at the restaurant at which you've found yourselves. And after the mandatory get-to-know-you's, you hopefully start to feel a camaraderie and conversation flows without the stilted feel of an interview. 

I lived this experience a few days ago when my good friend had to work a 24 hour shift and asked me if I could entertain her longtime friend who was visiting from out of town. We had a nice evening of dinner, swing dancing, and later watched a movie. Now, you might think this sounds like a very romantic first date, but in fact it was not romantic at all. One very important factor was missing: the fact that this new friend is not a man. We are two women who very much like men. (And I know some of you are wondering about The Boss right now. Don't worry, he's still in the picture, but we'll talk more about him another time.)

There seemed to be a little confusion about our preferences, however, when we went dancing. Mary, my new friend/blind date for the evening, loves to swing dance and had already looked up a place we could go that night. She told me on the way there that she might practice the man's dancing part during the lesson to build her skill for when she teaches other people to dance. 

When the lesson began, Mary lined up with the men as there were fewer male dancers than women anyway (typical of most dance lessons). A new male offered to take her spot in the men's line as I was walking to the ladies' line to be across from her. She responded to the man "no thanks, my partner is here." I knew she was referring to me as her dancing partner, but it didn't sound like it in that statement. I should also mention that our choices in attire added to the confusion because I wore a skirt that night and Mary wore shorts and a button down shirt. At that point, it must have seemed to him that I was the girly one and Mary was the butch one. The man looked both Mary and me up and down and said in a voice of understanding, "oh, ok."

After the lesson ended and open dancing began, I got asked to dance several more times than Mary. I guess the men weren't sure if they would get to lead if they asked her. That could be awkward if they don't know the ladies' part. 

After a short while dancing, we decided to go watch a sad movie and cry our eyes out instead. Then I drove Mary back to our friend's house as we acknowledged the similarities of our night to a blind date. 

Moral Of Today's Story: Sometimes people put in a lot of effort towards dating, but they don't make the effort with new friends. Don't save your best socializing just for romantic interests. I started the evening with a stranger, but I ended it with a new friend.

Oh, and if you want to be clear that you're not into women, perhaps you let the men lead the dancing. 

The Boss

I recently read a blurb in "Cosmo" about how all the Hollywood ladies are dating CEO's of web startups now so, likewise, anybody who wants to be true to trend should find an ambitious web-ster to date. It's true that nerdy/geeky/smarty-pants is the new haute/hot, and this summer, I guess you could say, I'm taking my cue from Hollywood.

I've only been out with "The Boss" a few times, but there is a definite chemistry. I've previously mentioned my affinity for men with power, ambition, and authority. I'm attracted to the focus he has and the fact that his windows, walls, and even a waterproof notepad in the shower are covered with random notes of genius that could occur at any moment. It makes me think that I should keep more writing utensils and sticky notes around the house for all my great ideas - you know, the ones that I forget by the time I walk to another room with a notepad....

The Boss also gives professional grade shoulder rubs. I've told him that he could have a fall-back career as a massage therapist if the CEO thing doesn't work out. 

The bad news is that The Boss is only in Omaha for the summer, and in September he's headed back to Chicago. So this relation-ship could be smooth sailing for any length of time or it could be the Titanic, destined to crash and sink. 

Moral Of Today's Story:  You always run the risk of crashing and sinking when you get on any ship, but who wants to be stuck on the shore for your whole life? And let's be honest,who doesn't want to sail on the Titanic? When you have the chance to ride on the Titanic, you go.