Going on good lunch stories instead of good dates is tedious. It feels like effort. Wasted effort at that. Had I been writing my stories lately I should probably rename this page “good flings and disappointing happy hours.” But I digress.
People who haven’t dated in a while ask me what I’m looking for. And I think I may have met him today at the grocery store in the candy/office supply aisle. (What an odd combination of aisle mates, right?) I was rolling my single-lady-sized cart filled with fresh produce and low fat string cheese toward the candy that was talking to me, and there he was walking toward me. Grocery Guy was tall, muscular but lean, athletic but still had an air of intelligence with his green crew neck sweater. He was walking empty-handed and looking right at me while I tried not to stare directly at this beautiful man. He said, “ma’am, do you shop here a lot?”
I replied, “I do, yes.”
He asked where the pickles were as he’d apparently been struggling to find them. I directed him two aisles over, and after he disappeared I kicked myself for not offering to walk him to the pickles. I could have struck up a conversation about cornichons versus dill. Do you prefer spears or whole? You know what goes great with pickles? A sandwich. Shall I make you one at my house?
Some of you are disappointed in me for not being more assertive with Grocery Guy. There is only a small part of me that thinks any good could have come from a more forward response. Here’s what probably would have happened:
Me: “Let me walk you there. By the way, I love that sweater on you!”
Grocery Guy: “Thanks! My girlfriend picked it out for me. She loves pickles.”
[We arrive at pickle destination]
Grocery Guy:“Thanks again for your help, ma’am.”
Me: “You’re welcome. Enjoy eating pickles with your girlfriend.”
Did you notice how he called me ma’am twice?! Ok, the second one was fictional, but he did say it in real life the first time. I’d like to think he’s just genteel and probably calls every lady “ma’am.”
Moral of today’s story:
Although I often hear advice about meeting singles at the grocery store, I don’t know anyone who’s been successful at it. But you know what you’ll always find there? Food! And when dating seems like more effort than it’s worth, dinner will be there for you. I don’t know if the beautiful Grocery Guy was available or not, but I do know that the barbacoa tacos I’m cooking won’t ever leave me for some pickle-loving floozy!
