Means Well

People always tell you that if you want to meet interesting people, for friendship or otherwise, you should join a gym, take a class, get involved in a church- whatever interests you! So you've found something that interests you, and there actually happen to be some nice people there, too. Excellent!

Now for me, I always seem to be interested in activities that are stereotypically meant for other single women or elderly people. These are my peeps. [side note: I like masculine men who fix cars or play football, but I have no desire to do those things myself! So I'll sing in choirs and go to yoga because I like it. I'm sure there are masculine men who like feminine women, too!] There is, however, at least one man in one of my groups that honed in on me as soon as I joined said group. 

I was seated and talking to a lady next to me when "Means Well" came and stood at my knee. He stuck his hand out for a handshake directly in front of my face. Literally. His fingers were probably two inches from my nose. His body was all the way in my bubble!

"Hi. You must be new." He introduced himself as I leaned my face away from his still-too-close hand.

I introduced myself and he made some awkward comment about my odd name. Thanks. I wasn't aware that my name was unique since I've only lived with it for three decades!

Despite the fact that he knows my name and told me that its oddity would make it easy to remember, he doesn't choose to address me by it. He also doesn't choose to make eye contact most of the time although he does make physical contact often by reaching out to touch my shoulder or back for no apparent reason. Means Well's favorite thing is to talk to the back of my head as he frequently walks up behind me and says things like, "well, hell-o..." or "So we meet again!" It's quite disturbing. 

I'm always caught off guard by a random voice that I'm unsure if it's actually talking to me. I really do think that Means Well means well, but he creeps me out every time his voice or hand on my shoulder come out of nowhere!

I can tell that he is making an effort because he is attracted to me. He just has no idea how unattractive his mannerisms make him.

Moral Of Today's Story: 

When trying to meet new people, the goal is NOT to make them feel unsettled by your presence. Here are the basic "don't be a creeper" rules:

1.  Make your presence known. Nobody likes it when you sneak up on her.

2.  Address people by their names so they know to whom you are speaking. 

3.  Make eye contact. Nobody likes it when you stare at other body parts while you carry on your conversation. 

4.  Respect the personal space bubble!  Unless you're invited in the bubble, keep your hands to yourself!

Good Resume

After finding nothing but old men and taken men for quite a while, I went on a date this week with someone single and my own age. On paper, everything looks great-job, home, similar faith, dog (not something I'm specifically looking for, but it indicates a level of caring and responsibility that's a plus), and no crazy baggage. Basically, he had the right resume.

Well, if you've been a regular reader, you can probably guess already that if he's good on paper, he's a dud when it comes to chemistry between us. Your guess is correct.

Good Resume must be the slowest move maker ever! It took over two months of emailing small talk type questions before he asked to meet for a drink. I had actually thought he would probably be more outgoing and dynamic in person since a lot of men just aren't good at emails or texts. Then we met for one dull hour of margaritas and face to face small talk. I still had time to stop at the grocery store and make it home to put on my sweatpants -all before 8pm!  

Three days later he texted to ask about my week. I thought it was strange that he didn't check to see if I got home that night or call to say how great it was to meet me, yada yada, [insert other compliments here]. 

I've been pre-conditioned to expect men to get to the point. Ordinarily, they tell me by the next day at the latest that they like me/want to see me again/are hoping(and only hoping!) for a booty call. 

Prior to our date, Good Resume made a point of saying  that for the first meeting, he likes to do something short and casual ie. coffee or a drink. So I'm not really sure how to play this hand. I'm definitely not interested, and I don't want to lead him on. But he hasn't actually stated that he would like to go out again so I'm not sure if this is just part of his slow process or what?

There is still the possibility that he's not interested in me, and he's only keeping the line open between us "just in case." But that's not likely. I don't say this out of arrogance as if every man falls in love with me - clearly, that's not the case! However, my intuition is almost never wrong. 

Moral Of Today's Story: 

Sometimes those with a Good Resume don't interview well. This applies in job interviews as well as dates. Also, in both job life and dating life, one should make a statement of interest for the position you desire. 

Unfortunately, I know who I want to fill the position in my life, but as of yet there have been no statements of wanting the position. What's a girl to do? 

The Drought

The Pointer Sisters had a hit song years ago called "It's Raining Men." I love the song! I sang it in my high school swing choir. I had it as my ringtone briefly. 

🎶 "It's raining men. Hallelujah! It's raining men. Every specimen: Tall, blonde, dark and lean. Rough and tough and strong and mean." 🎶

 Unfortunately, the Pointer Sisters were wrong. It is definitely not raining men. It is, in fact, a serious drought. For a brief hiatus, I wasn't even putting on my galoshes. But now that I've deemed myself ready to don my rain poncho, there's just barely a trickle. I don't exclusively meet dates online, but as an efficient avenue I turned my online profile back on, and guess who my matches are. Creepy 50 year olds and my sister's boyfriend!

Are you effing kidding me?!? This is my selection?? Old guys and a guy who is presently on a date with my sister! To those of you thinking this a juicy cheating story, I'm sorry to tell you it's rather anticlimactic. It didn't take me more than a minute to realize that this was an old profile (old picture, previous job listed, and the activity status of "active over three weeks"- which apparently can mean anything from 3 1/2 weeks up to a few years.) I don't know exactly when sis's boyfriend set up the profile. I just assumed it was on one of their many breaks over the past few years. Either way, it was news to him that his profile was still active. 

Now, as for the older gentlemen...I could potentially date an older man, but he at least has to be as rich and as good looking as he is old. So far, they're just plain old. Not remotely wealthy. Not remotely attractive. 

Moral Of Today's Story: 

Some pools don't have the fish that you want to catch, and the only good thing about bad fish is that you can sometimes get a good lunch story ;) 

I'm still hoping for a certain fish to ask me to be ....pardon the pun,fishsclusive. Until then, I guess I'll just keep a line in the water. 

Don't Be A Douchebaguette 101

Ladies, contrary to what some of your well-meaning but over-compensating parents may have led you to believe, you are not a princess. You are not better than everyone. You are not the sun, and men are not planets revolving around you. 

Now most of us would never actually make those exact statements, but many girls unwittingly give off that attitude. Unfortunately, this is sometimes another branch of problems stemming from Christians who mingle. I've seen many ladies who've been hurt or who have just idealized romance to the point that they expect men to perform flawlessly every day with no grace for him to be human. 

We've realized that as daughters of the King we deserve to be treated well, but in that vein, some daughters have forgotten how to respect the sons of the King. 

These ladies are intolerant of men who don't open every door, compliment them immediately, or who don't make big bucks and pick up every tab. Now, I'm a pretty traditional gal myself, but these expectations can be taken to extremes. 

I know lazy women who don't cook, clean or hold jobs, but they have husbands who work two jobs to support their channel-flipping-bonbon-eating ways. Or women who would tell a first date that they were disappointed in their evening out because he failed to open a door. Or women who tell everyone they know how they would refuse to settle for small diamond ring proposals (this person is surprisingly still single!)

Get over yourselves, ladies. If you want a relationship, you can't be selfish. It's not going to be all about you. Very few men want to marry you so that they can dote on you, pay your bills, fold your laundry, and put up with your spoiled princess attitude all while you do nothing in return.

Somehow, there are men who have chosen to put themselves in those types of unhealthy relationships, but I personally want a man who respects himself enough to not put up with a douchebaguette. 

Moral Of Today's Story:

Douchebaggery is not limited to men or women. It all stems from selfishness, and nobody likes that. The most hurtful, insensitive, annoying, and douchebaggish behavior all comes straight out of selfishness. So to summarize, GET OVER YOURSELF!