I didn't know vows expired

I've always been perplexed by the concept of marriage vow renewals. It sounds romantic, I suppose, but I thought the vows lasted 'til death do us part. It's not like a library card that had to be renewed. It's not leftover food that expires and needs to be thrown out. Does anyone smell a marriage to see if it's got a little more time left before it's gone all the way sour?

In my unmarried opinion, I can only think of a couple reasons why a couple would renew their vows:

1.  Vows were broken so instead of getting divorced, the couple renews their vows with the intention of keeping them the second time around. I would whole-heartedly support this reason. 

2.  Celebrities sometimes renew their vows as a romantic gesture to throw people off the story of their failing marriage. Just like the way to spot a liar is to see who's trying too hard to convince you of something. In those cases, celebrities need to do some things out of the spotlight. Your relationship is interesting to some, but frankly nobody else's business!

3.  And the biggest reason for vow renewal:  the bride is obsessed with weddings/going through wedding withdrawal now that she's settled into married life/doesn't want to move on to husband number 2 just to have another ceremony and a new dress. I support sticking with husband number 1, however, I find it ridiculous that so many women seem to care more about a wedding than a marriage. The wedding is one day, but the marriage should last a lifetime. If you are just getting married for parties, dresses, flowers and new cookware, then I suggest you join a social circle where you can attend cotillions and formal tea parties. Marriage, from what I can see, does not usually involve caterers and formal wear on a regular basis. 

4.  Perhaps the people renewing their vows have died. They have to renew vows because as vampires and zombies the first set of vows no longer applies. I don't know what they say in place of "'til death do us part." 

Moral of Today's Story:

Say what you mean, and mean what you say- especially when you stand before God and many witnesses to declare your marriage vows. And for realsies when you sign legal documents that change your taxation status! Seriously people! If you meant what you said, you don't have to say it again. Unless you're now a zombie. 

Why Men Are Wimps

"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them," summarized Margaret Atwood. I read this quote recently and have been mulling it over the past few days.

While I still admire the bravery of men to do many things that scare me, I kept thinking, "boys are such wimps!" A woman can go on a blind date knowing that in the worst case scenario she may be attacked or murdered, but she still goes. A man hesitates to go because he might be laughed at?!?! This is disproportionate to say the least. 

Now the likelihood of being laughed at is probably quite high, but I would hope most ladies would refrain from laughing right in your face, men. Tactful ladies should at least wait to laugh at you with their friends the next time they're gathered over drinks. But only a complete insophisticado would laugh right in your face. 

I guess I can't really relate to the fear of being laughed at. I assume people will laugh with me because of my charming, clever wit. Perhaps people have laughed at me, but I have the disposition to think of myself as hilarious so I'm ok with that. 

But back to these fears now... We women are fearful of men because they could hurt us. However, they can also protect which is why we keep risking our lives to find one such male!

There's the obvious greater physical strength that they afford, and also studies have shown that male pheromones have a calming effect on women. One of the best cures for female stress is actually a hug or a handhold from a trusted male, romantic or non-romantic. But we first have to get beyond all this "will-he-attack-me" worry. It's a rational fear when we consider the alarmingly high number of violent assaults on females in America. (1 in 5 women reported assault), but I would much rather focus on the calming, safe feeling that good men provide. It's the reason why women don't typically watch scary movies alone, kill their own rodents or open those really difficult jars. We need men to be strong for us. We need them to let us know when we're safe. And in some cases, we just need them to do our dirty work.

Moral Of Today's Story:

Ladies, while you're fending off potential predators, please be mindful of your manners and realize that your captivating beauty and charm can be intimidating to your suitors. Don't add to their stress.

Men, let's get some perspective here. Laughing burns calories, it's good for your heart, and it releases endorphins. In that light, you should be hoping that we laugh!