This last trait may not sound like a noteworthy point to some of you, but to me in my fandom it revealed a depth of camaraderie. The only other person I know who shares my deep appreciation for Frasier is my sister who actually pleaded with me not to name this particular date after Frasier. Sorry, Sis. In my head I still call him "Fraiser Fan" even though I obviously know his real name.
Frasier Fan and I chatted for a week or two before deciding to meet up. Unfortunately, Frasier Fan suffers from a common male ailment- he sucks at making plans! We had a loosely outlined idea of meeting up for coffee or a drink one night, but then he "left his phone at work." So I didn't hear from him after I sent a late afternoon text asking if he had a place he'd like to meet. We didn't meet at all that night. In fact, I didn't hear from him for over 24 hours until he sent me a text joking about something going on at work. Seriously?! We're just going to pretend that you didn't blow me off last night? We're just going back to joking and conversating like nothing happened?
I called him out on his rudeness and he acknowledged his faux pas and apologized. Then he made a real plan to meet up for a date.
We had a delightful evening sharing sushi and drinks, strolling downtown, browsing through an antique store, conversing with ease, and he rounded off the night with a gentlemanly hug and a request to see me again.
He had made a good plan for this date, but I should note that at the last minute he changed our destination and that his phone was about to die when he texted his new location to me. It died completely when I arrived. So I was relieved that it wasn't ten minutes later when I confirmed where we were going. At this point, I was starting to get the feeling that Frasier Fan is one of those men with good intentions, but who needs a woman to organize him--a secretary, a mother, a girlfriend or wife- he needs someone to help!
Now, Frasier Fan had made a point of telling me a couple times that he'd be deployed out of the country for a month soon. So we tried to schedule another date before he left U.S. soil. But then he disappeared again. We had decided on a night that worked with both of our schedules, but then the day before we were supposed to see each other again I just didn't hear from him...again. I assume he left the country a few days later, and by this point I'm pretty sure he's now returned.
I'm baffled why a man would initiate contact with me in the first place if he's got no follow through. If you're not interested, then I understand why you're ghosting me, but then you made an effort again. (Side note: ghosting is a term that's been coined in recent years to mean that a romantic interest disappeared and cut off all communication. I learned this term after the first time I was ghosted by "The Boss." See previous post) You wanted to see me. You wanted me to know that you'd be out not the country and out of contact so I wouldn't think you were ghosting me at that point. Are you seriously this disorganized that you can't schedule dates? Do you really forget your phone or forget to charge it on a regular basis?
Moral of today's story:
Frasier would not approve of this rudeness of ghosting. As many foibles as the man had in his own dating life, it's just not ok to disappear without saying a word.
