I’m going on a bit of a tangent today after seeing some heated debates about mom entitlement. This blog typically deals with my dating life, but this topic has some relevance to single women like me as we are always questioned about our maternal status.
Do you ever feel like moms on social media are running a big campaign to dissuade people from having kids? They describe it like a war zone. It’s us versus them! Nobody sleeps! There’s body fluids everywhere! Mom shaming is epidemic! It’s mom on mom crime! And to top it all off everyone is forced to watch bad tv in which obnoxious nursery rhymes get stuck in your head.
They want you to know how #blessed they are, but they also want you to feel sorry for how difficult their lives are. They don’t personally know you, your job, your struggles or your successes, but they are confident that if you didn’t bear children your life is a vacation compared to theirs. They are always more tired than any single or childless individual. In fact, they deserve to cut in line at Starbucks! https://www.facebook.com/122560544447547/posts/2104465022923746/
We’re supposed to hold them at near saint like status, and not even just current mothers. Women who struggle with fertility feel even more entitled to your sympathy. They would like you never to speak of or joke about being pregnant because they are not currently pregnant. Makes sense, right? All the struggles that other people have do not compare to the righteous desire these women have to procreate.
I personally wanted to ask the Twittersphere to stop joking about pregnancy on April Fools because it’s unoriginal and lame, but apparently we are simply not allowed to joke about things that are difficult for other people. Also, side note, sometimes it’s just a food baby. “Are you pregnant?” “No, I just ate a burrito. I’ll look less bloated in a few hours.”
If I felt as entitled as women with fertility issues, I could ask people to stop talking about their happy relationships when I can’t keep a good man to save my life. I’d ask them never to complain about their family obligations. As the last single person in my family, my holidays have a lot more alone time the older I get because everyone else is spending time with their extended families. I’d ask them to NEVER complain about getting flowers on Valentine’s Day. You think it’s cliche and he’s only giving you flowers because Cupid and the calendar told him to? Bitch, please! When someone gives you flowers, you say “thank you!” The last flowers I got were free at the grocery store because Bakers knows how to treat a lady!
I’m ok with moms of toddlers complaining about going to the bathroom alone. The dog likes to keep me company in the bathroom. And even though I take it as a compliment that he just loves spending time with me, I would still like to be alone in there sometimes.
Actually, I’m ok letting a mom cut in front of me at Starbucks, too. It’s not the only hard job, but it is hard. The moms I know in real life are some of the coolest people I know, and most of them realize that their “problems” with raising a family are just part of managing blessings.
Moral of Today’s Rant:
- Everybody’s got problems. Yours don’t make you special. Quit complaining.
- Since everybody’s got problems, be kind to people. Maybe even pay it forward when you’re in line for that Pumpkin Spice Latte.
- We may not all get to be moms. Some will choose not to be a mom. And that’s ok.