Means Well

People always tell you that if you want to meet interesting people, for friendship or otherwise, you should join a gym, take a class, get involved in a church- whatever interests you! So you've found something that interests you, and there actually happen to be some nice people there, too. Excellent!

Now for me, I always seem to be interested in activities that are stereotypically meant for other single women or elderly people. These are my peeps. [side note: I like masculine men who fix cars or play football, but I have no desire to do those things myself! So I'll sing in choirs and go to yoga because I like it. I'm sure there are masculine men who like feminine women, too!] There is, however, at least one man in one of my groups that honed in on me as soon as I joined said group. 

I was seated and talking to a lady next to me when "Means Well" came and stood at my knee. He stuck his hand out for a handshake directly in front of my face. Literally. His fingers were probably two inches from my nose. His body was all the way in my bubble!

"Hi. You must be new." He introduced himself as I leaned my face away from his still-too-close hand.

I introduced myself and he made some awkward comment about my odd name. Thanks. I wasn't aware that my name was unique since I've only lived with it for three decades!

Despite the fact that he knows my name and told me that its oddity would make it easy to remember, he doesn't choose to address me by it. He also doesn't choose to make eye contact most of the time although he does make physical contact often by reaching out to touch my shoulder or back for no apparent reason. Means Well's favorite thing is to talk to the back of my head as he frequently walks up behind me and says things like, "well, hell-o..." or "So we meet again!" It's quite disturbing. 

I'm always caught off guard by a random voice that I'm unsure if it's actually talking to me. I really do think that Means Well means well, but he creeps me out every time his voice or hand on my shoulder come out of nowhere!

I can tell that he is making an effort because he is attracted to me. He just has no idea how unattractive his mannerisms make him.

Moral Of Today's Story: 

When trying to meet new people, the goal is NOT to make them feel unsettled by your presence. Here are the basic "don't be a creeper" rules:

1.  Make your presence known. Nobody likes it when you sneak up on her.

2.  Address people by their names so they know to whom you are speaking. 

3.  Make eye contact. Nobody likes it when you stare at other body parts while you carry on your conversation. 

4.  Respect the personal space bubble!  Unless you're invited in the bubble, keep your hands to yourself!