No, dude, it just goes with my dress! I wear accessories not sexcessories!
"Have you lost weight? You look great! Just think how much better you'll look when you lose the rest of the weight!"
Excuse me, I have to go cry now.
"I'm just not feeling the us thing right now." [jn a text]
Just say it to my face, dude. Oh that's right, you were too busy trying to kiss me when we were face to face a few hours ago.
"All my friends are getting married, but I just haven't found a special girl yet."
Um, thanks for making it clear that I'm not special to you.
"Why is a great girl like you single?"
I know you think this sounds sweet, but in that question you are trying to figure out what's wrong with me. That's ok because I was going to ask you the same question to figure out what's wrong with you. :)
"The Holy Spirit told me to break up with you. I just feel like we're unequally yoked and our visions don't line up and I'm kind of more into blondes right now."
It's ok to break up, but don't blame the Holy Spirit for all of your decisions
"Is your friend single? She's hot!"
Yeah, but she's pretty busy with court appointments after she murdered her ex.
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