Too Good To Be True

In the third grade, I had a huge crush on the new boy, Mitchell Blake. He was so dreamy. He had curly blonde hair, he had a cute smile, he could wiggle his ears without using his hands, and he knew how to break dance. 

I probably interacted with him as much as most 9 year old girls with a crush, which was seldom at best, but I talked to my friends about him all the time. Whenever we played games like the one where you say the alphabet when you twist your apple stem off the apple and have to say a boy that you would marry whose name started with that letter, I always tried to make it to the letter "m" so I could say Mitchell's name. 

One day at the end of music class, I was sitting in my row waiting for my turn to put my green music book back on the shelf when Mitchell Blake himself walked over to me and said four amazing words! "I like you, Bente."

I was stunned. He couldn't be serious. It was exactly what I wanted to hear, but it felt too good to be true. I looked around to see if other people were in on the joke, too. Thinking it was a joke, I did the worst thing a girl could do to a boy. I laughed. His face fell, and then I realized that this wasn't a joke. He really did like me! But now I'd ruined everything! He turned to walk away, and I stammered to say something. I tried to get him to wait or come back, but it was too late. I had crushed my crush. Now I felt crushed. 

I still think about my would-be-elementary-romance sometimes. I don't know how or why my 9 year old brain had already started to think I wasn't good enough to get the guy I wanted. I don't know who taught me to fear the worst and shun the best. I think that somehow if young girls are not specifically taught to be confident, they become insecure by default. 

Now, I'm not saying that I missed out on the love of my life in the 3rd grade, but I know that insecurity in my life has probably held me back in ways of which I'm not even aware.

Moral Of Today's Story: Assume the best. Assume that people have good intentions, that they are not out to trick you or hurt you. Be confident that when the dreamboat you've been crushing on finally declares his feelings for you, it's true. Very few people are truly malicious enough to hurt you on purpose, but many would love the chance to love you.