The Other Radar

Have you ever had someone who just won't let go of your heart strings? He can't seem to commit or be there when you really need him, but every time he does the slightest thing - like texts out of the blue, gives you a great compliment, calls, or anything - you want to drop whatever you're doing to connect with him. Ten other men could tell me I'm beautiful, but I still want to hear it from him. My Heart String has been stringing me along for two years. He doesn't seem to know for sure if he actually wants a relationship, but then he tells me I'm the only one he's interested in romantically. I usually don't write about things I don't feel like I understand, but I don't know if I'll ever understand Heart String.

If you've read even one or two entries on this blog, then you know that I have had a lot of "good lunch stories" but not so many good dates. The last time I had a good date, the relationship ended within a few weeks when he chose to break up with me through a text message. (See "From Post-it's To Texts," May 2014) When I came home from a great date with M, Heart String must have sensed something in the atmosphere with his radar because he contacted me that night and we talked and he said he still had feelings for me. I felt like I was at the plot twist in a romantic comedy. It always happens that when you think the girl has moved on to another guy, the old flame reappears and you don't know which guy to root for!

Heart String and I started talking more and getting reacquainted. I wanted to be open with M so I told him that I was talking to both of them, and he was ok with that. Meanwhile, for some reason the stars never aligned or Heart String didn't seem to have the time for quite a while to see me. Well, things ended with M, and I still hadn't actually seen Heart String even though we were in contact several times a week. (I had a very close relationship with my iPhone at this point! Technology-only relationships may be a future topic on here.)

Every time Heart String suggested something for us to do, I somehow knew it wouldn't really happen. And guess what? It didn't.

I'd still been talking to to him, but I could almost physically feel the fact that I was on the back burner when it came to his priorities. I started talking to a new guy last week, and we actually had two pretty great dates. Well, Heart String and his magical radar must have sensed that I could be moving on! He texted during my date to see if I wanted to get together. I saw his message when I got home later, and I responded then. When he asked what I had been up to that evening, I felt conflicted. Like I was cheating or something even though the relationship I'd been in was truly only with the screen of my iPhone. I told him that I'd had feelings for him for a long time, but it was clear to me that he didn't want anything real with me. He disagreed, but not enough to fight for me. He said he could appreciate the irony of the fact that I was out with another man when he was asking to see me (finally).  

I don't have a moral of today's story. Today, I only have the hope that if my new guy (whose blog name I haven't yet decided) gets a hold of one of my heart strings, then he'll treat it nicely. I'm tired of sitting on the back burner like a pot that rarely gets stirred.

Oh, and I also have the question of Heart String's radar. How does he know when I'm on a good date? One time was a coincidence, but two times is uncanny!