Radar

We always hear a lot about women having intuition, which I can verify is true. Men, however, have their own types of intuition that I like to call radars. They have a primitive animal instinct where they act on their senses without thinking it out and talking it out like women do based on their intuition. I don't know if these things are ever discussed - perhaps at the secret man cave meetings, but I think that when the radar goes off they all just know things and assume everyone else knows, too.

I've experienced a couple types of radars, and I'll tell you about one of them today. The first is one that I heard about through urban legend/one of my besties. Similar to the saying "once you go black, you never go back," she told me that once you show interest in or go out with a black guy then all the other black guys know. I thought this was kind of silly at the time she told me. How would anyone just know instinctively who I'm dating or open to dating? I always thought people are people. I never set out to look specifically for any ethnicity. I'm just looking for attractive, kind men. But at this point now in my experience, I would have to say that some guys must have a more finely tuned radar.

The first time I ever went out with a black guy, we were still in pre-date texting the week when all the other dudes came out of the woodwork! I was at a seminar for work and the only black guy in the room started flirting with me. I went to run errands and all the black guys in the stores were hitting on me. The lone black guy at the gas station stopped to tell me that I smelled like an angel. What happened? Did I flip a magic switch?

I texted my bestie and said "all the black guys are after me!" She was not surprised because she had been in several inter-racial dating scenes. She told me that's just what happens because they all think they have a chance with me now.

I was still a little confused about this phenomenon so I asked my guy friend who happens to be black about it. He said that "Yeah, it's just something you sense. You know if a girl only dates guys of her race or not." Honestly, he seemed a little surprised that I would ask such an apparently stupid question. Clearly, he operates on finely tuned instincts that do not even need to be discussed.

Well, some of you may be wondering what happened with the guy I went out with. We went on a few dates that actually went pretty well until his wife called me and asked me why my number kept showing up on her husband's phone. So the poo hit the fan, and that was the end of that! This was the first of, unfortunately, many times that I've had to state, "I do not date married men." Not once I know that they're married anyway.

Moral Of Today's Story: Everybody has some level of intuition or radar. Learn to tune yours in to the important things. For example, I am much better at figuring out if dudes are married when they ask me out now. You can also gain a much more accurate sense of who in the room is checking you out and who is open to approaching/being approached. In the words of Dr. Spock, "Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do."