The Frenchman

When I really like a guy, I always remember what outfit or special accessories I wore with him. The next time I see that blouse or skirt or whatever  hanging in my closet I pull it out and reminisce about what special moments we had. The clothes make me think about the care I took to look nice or how he made me feel pretty just by the way he looked at me. So after I couldn't remember what I wore on my date last week, I knew it wasn't meant to be. 

The Frenchman was admittedly a rebound after the boyfriend I still have not brought myself to blog about. The thing that makes dating a French man so different is that the French culture is inherently romantic. They lavish sweet compliments and would do anything to make you happy, but they do it all before they know much about you. When he would speak honeyed words, I kept thinking, "yeah, I'm great, but you don't know that yet. Calm down!"

For example, when he said he's allergic to dairy, I said I love yogurt and I would have a hard time giving that up. He looked deeply into my eyes and said, "you love yogurt? If I'd known, I would have brought you some." 

"In the middle of a sushi restaurant you would bring me yogurt?" I asked.

With even more tenderness and still looking deep in my eyes he said, "Because you love it." 

Now, this might actually be the sweetest thing anyone has ever wished for me. Thinking that I should have something just because I love it is more than most guys have done for me.

After the Frenchman took me for sushi,  he pulled out a beautiful bouquet of yellow flowers from his car. He had asked me my favorite color earlier that day, which at the time I actually thought was a rather blase conversation topic. When I said I like pink and yellow, he responded "yellow is nice." As if he's disapproving of my other favorite! When I texted him after the date that I was admiring the pretty flowers at home and thanked him again for his thoughtfulness, he stated simply, "yellow is pretty." One of many three word texts from him. 

A lot of our conversation felt like an interview and I could sense how much he wants to find the right woman. He texted me two days after we met and asked what our next step was. Where is our relationship going?? I guess he was wanting affirmation that I was still interested, but it seemed obvious to me that he would either ask me on another date or...not. Is there really any other option??

So after some coaching,we agreed we would go out again and get to know each other better. And he picked a day one week after our first date. Then he said we could decide after our second date whether or not we wanted to be in a relationship. I kept getting the feeling he wanted to get to the bottom line.

We carried on a texting conversation over the next couple days, in which I told him that I was crocheting a pillow for a friend. He was very impressed with my domestic skills! He texted "I want to be in a relationship with you." 

I asked if he wanted to date me because of my crocheting skills. I'm not entirely sure he understood he question, but he said yes. 

I told him I still would like to go on a second date - maybe a third or fourth - before defining our relationship. He agreed...until the next day. 

The next day, he texted me that he felt I was communicating less than a few days ago and if I wasn't really interested I needed to let him know. He went on to say that he didn't want to play games and that he didn't want to drag himself into this relationship just to hit the wall. 

Let me first say that I had been texting detailed accounts of my day to give him a glimpse of who I am and what odd or interesting things I do. While his messages to me were always along the lines of "my day was good." 

So at this point I'm starting to wonder if he's bipolar or if it's common for French people to be so up and down in their emotions. Yesterday he was dying to lock this thing down, and today he's so afraid of being led on that he's demanding I turn him loose now! 

I felt offended that he would suggest I might be playing games, but truthfully I wasn't feeling a strong connection and I probably wasn't replying to him as quickly as someone I was really into. 

Although I told him - and I believe - that it puts too much pressure on both parties to try to figure out everything out after one meeting, after another 24 hours of labored conversation and the fact that I can't remember what I wore on our date, I gave him the definitive statement he was looking for. I didn't want to go on a second date. 

Moral of Today's Story:

I could probably get used to be wooed and romanced, but not if it includes a grown man acting as emotional and insecure as a junior high girl! But next time I like a man enough that I remember what I wore on our date, I'll tell him that I can crochet and see if that clinches the relationship!