So for any new boyfriend applicants, here are my basic rules and expectations. I cannot claim that other women have the same set of rules for themselves. I cannot claim that this list is all encompassing of my needs. But if you have any qualms about the following, then you need not proceed any further with your application for the position.
1. Speak my love language. If you're not familiar with the book The Five Love Languages, pick up a copy and familiarize yourself with the "words of affirmation" chapter as that is my top love language. Love languages are just the way we feel cared for. I need to hear you tell me what you appreciate about me. You're free to choose your own phrasing or vary the compliment. In fact you'll need to vary what you say so it doesn't become trite or routine. Tell me your favorite features of mine. Or tell me how witty and entertaining I am. This goes both ways because I will also be appreciating wonderful and attractive aspects of you!
2. Always hug or kiss me hello and goodbye. I'm affectionate. Get used to it. If we're with a group of people, you don't have to kiss me in front of them. We're definitely not going to be that gross couple that makes out in front of their friends, but there's a chance we might be that annoyingly cutesy couple that gives little pecks and holds hands all the time.
3. I must hear from you at least once every 24 hours. I know we're both busy, but at a minimum I need a text from you on days I don't see you. I worry about you. And if I have called or texted you, then you need to respond -- preferably within 12 hours, but definitely not more than 24 hours. After 25 hours I will wonder if you've been in an accident, which hospital you're in, if you have a secret double life, how many other women you're seeing, or I will simply be plotting your murder.
4. You need to make definite plans with me. I don't want to sit around wondering if we have a date. I know you think I'm spontaneous and fun and that I always look amazing with no effort, but I need time to get ready. I need to know what I'm wearing, if I'm shaving my legs, if I should eat dinner or if we're getting food. When you tell me specific details like date and time or location, I don't have to wonder if you're blowing me off. I know I'm going to see you again and then I get to look forward to seeing you instead of thinking about how you've broken rule #3 and I need to make your murder look like an accident.
5. Be willing to fight with me. We're going to disagree about something at some point. You're going to hurt my feelings. I will do things that irritate you. That's just how relationships go, but when these things happen I need you to talk to me. Don't avoid me because I'm mad. That only gives my anger more time to percolate and boil over! And don't push your own feelings down because you don't want to deal with confrontation. I would like to know if I'm doing something that vexes you.
Also, I have been told by men that have seriously pissed me off that they were nervous to talk to me, but it was much easier talking to me than they thought. *References are available only upon request.
6. Be willing to fight for me. At the beginning or prelude to a relationship there are sometimes problems like schedules, distance, other suitors, fear, or self-doubt. I'm a good catch. Tell me how you feel. Tell me what your afraid of. Fight through the obstacles and at least give "us" a real try.
7. Hold me when I cry. A lot of guys are frightened by female displays of emotion, but as my boyfriend, you are obligated to care that I'm upset. Also, it's pretty rare for me to cry in front of other people so if you happen to see it you should feel a little honored that I trust you. And if you happen to have caused the tears--the quickest solution is still just to hold me. And then lie to me just this one time and tell me that I'm not an ugly crier.
8. Do life as well as dates. I want to be romanced and for us to do new, fun things together. But I also want to see you in your natural habitat. I want to spend time with you in the kitchen, on the couch, and other rooms we may visit 😉. I want to go to the symphony with you, and I want to go to the grocery store with you. We need a balance of casual Netflix nights in and nights out on the town. It's really about the pleasure of your company.
Notice: This is not an all encompassing list. It is subject to additions or change, and once subscribed to official boyfriend status you will receive updates via text or email.
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