Actually, I had some friends and acquaintances who were told in some polite email form that their personalities had no matches. I don't know if they still tell people that, but that's got to be depressing news to hear that it's unlikely you can find a mate who can tolerate you and your difficult personality!
Internet dating has moved further from personality tests and more towards our basic attraction instincts where we just look at pics of hot or not so hot guys, but there's still a missing element of attraction: Scent!
More specifically pheromones. Now if you've been living under a rock and don't know about pheromones, they're the hormones you give off in your scent that trigger behavior. Basically, if someone smells good to you it means you're sexually compatible. The perfume industry has caught on to the pheromone craze and makes fragrances with added sex pheromones to amp up your scented attractiveness. Victoria's Secret and some of those naughty toy home party brands make great pheromone based fragrances...I mean I heard that. My friend mentioned it. Who said I was there?!
Anyway, my point is that you need to look at people and smell them to really know if you're attracted to them. I heard about a new company that for this reasoning started offering "smell dating." They would send you a white cotton t-shirt that you would wear for a few days until it absorbed your scent, then they would cut up the t-shirt into samples to send out to prospective mates. Meanwhile you sniff some other dirty shirts and see which one turns you on! I was willing to give this a try, mostly for you my readers, but it seems they've already gone out of business.
Which brings me to my two new scent based suggestions: 1. Speed hugging--speed dating with hugs long enough to sniff someone's hair. In theory it makes sense, but I think it might go out of business as quickly as the other smell-a-date service because when I say it out loud, it sounds totally creepy. 2. Saunas! I've recently been spending more time in the sauna based on Gwyneth Paltrow's recommended health habits. I go to the mixed gender sauna at the gym (because the one inside the women's locker room will serve me no purpose! Well except Gwyneth's touted detox regime, I suppose) In the gym sauna, not only do I have a pre-screened group of healthy men who workout, but we're all in close enough proximity to smell each other's pheromones as we sweat them out!
The first couple times I tried to smell the attractive men in the sauna I learned a few things.
1. I do not want to date anyone with a heavily curry based diet.
2. If there are more than 3 men in the sauna, you can't smell them apart!
3. This is a perfect setting to try out some Seinfeld humor. (The sauna episode, right?)
So I managed to sit in the sauna while there was just one attractive man in there. He struck up a conversation of small talk, and in a moment he said something about the heat and I was able to interject Kramer's classic Seinfeld line "it's like a sauna in here!" He clearly was not a sitcom aficionado. He thought I was an idiot who didn't realize I was in fact in a sauna.
Moral of today's story: Sauna dating will not be for the faint of heart --despite its cardiac health benefits. There may be sound science behind the pheromone dating connection, but perhaps it would be better to avoid sniffing strangers. They don't all like that! So I'll just stick to wearing the fragrances that my friend bought at that party.
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