We're dance partners, if you know what I mean...

Every blind date has some initial awkwardness. You make small talk about how you both know the person who introduced you to each other. You talk about the good food selection at the restaurant at which you've found yourselves. And after the mandatory get-to-know-you's, you hopefully start to feel a camaraderie and conversation flows without the stilted feel of an interview. 

I lived this experience a few days ago when my good friend had to work a 24 hour shift and asked me if I could entertain her longtime friend who was visiting from out of town. We had a nice evening of dinner, swing dancing, and later watched a movie. Now, you might think this sounds like a very romantic first date, but in fact it was not romantic at all. One very important factor was missing: the fact that this new friend is not a man. We are two women who very much like men. (And I know some of you are wondering about The Boss right now. Don't worry, he's still in the picture, but we'll talk more about him another time.)

There seemed to be a little confusion about our preferences, however, when we went dancing. Mary, my new friend/blind date for the evening, loves to swing dance and had already looked up a place we could go that night. She told me on the way there that she might practice the man's dancing part during the lesson to build her skill for when she teaches other people to dance. 

When the lesson began, Mary lined up with the men as there were fewer male dancers than women anyway (typical of most dance lessons). A new male offered to take her spot in the men's line as I was walking to the ladies' line to be across from her. She responded to the man "no thanks, my partner is here." I knew she was referring to me as her dancing partner, but it didn't sound like it in that statement. I should also mention that our choices in attire added to the confusion because I wore a skirt that night and Mary wore shorts and a button down shirt. At that point, it must have seemed to him that I was the girly one and Mary was the butch one. The man looked both Mary and me up and down and said in a voice of understanding, "oh, ok."

After the lesson ended and open dancing began, I got asked to dance several more times than Mary. I guess the men weren't sure if they would get to lead if they asked her. That could be awkward if they don't know the ladies' part. 

After a short while dancing, we decided to go watch a sad movie and cry our eyes out instead. Then I drove Mary back to our friend's house as we acknowledged the similarities of our night to a blind date. 

Moral Of Today's Story: Sometimes people put in a lot of effort towards dating, but they don't make the effort with new friends. Don't save your best socializing just for romantic interests. I started the evening with a stranger, but I ended it with a new friend.

Oh, and if you want to be clear that you're not into women, perhaps you let the men lead the dancing. 

Plenty of Catfish

I've told a few stories about my Plenty of Fish (POF) experiences. Well, this is the one that sent me straight home to delete my profile.

I won't be giving an alias today as in most of my stories. His name was Marc - or at least that's what he said. I had first communicated with Marc at the beginning of the year, and we talked about going out. He said he needed to double check something in his schedule, but then I didn't hear from him again. His profile was deleted the next day as well. 

I had forgotten all about Marc when he contacted me on POF again in August - 8 months later. He apologized for disappearing, claiming he had felt overwhelmed by the whole online dating experience. I could empathize with that feeling so I didn't hold it against him. 

He suggested that we meet at a Barnes and Noble in a Friday evening, and I agreed. Right when I arrived, he texted that he was running late from work and would be about 35 minutes late. 

I was slightly annoyed since I had nothing to do but wander around the book shelves and wait. But I told him I had just arrived and I'd see him when he got there. 

Exactly 35 minutes later he texted

Now, I was looking around as he was texting, and feeling foolish since I had already seen pretty much everyone in the store during the past 35 minutes. 

I'm also fairly certain that he was there and watching me for all of those 35 minutes. 

Creeper! 

He said he was wearing blue and tan. There were five men in the store at the time, and they were all wearing some combination of blue and tan. I saw nobody who remotely looked like his pics that he had sent. He had quite a few pictures, but I don't know if that's what he really looked like. 

I do know that he has set up a profile three different times with pictures of the same man. Despite the fact that I reported him, he set up another profile.

Moral of today's story: Ladies, if you see this man, DO NOT go out with him! Because unfortunately, there are plenty of catfish in the sea! 

Señor Gimpy's Paella

When it comes to men, there are plenty of fish in the sea - especially on the dating site Plenty of Fish (POF). But certain ponds only seem to breed toxic, mutant fish so beware of what you catch. Who knows what poisonous things have seeped into the water where you cast your nets. 

I've already told you about my last catch from the POF pond, Tiny Hand, and tonight I'll tell you about Señor Gimpy. 

Señor Gimpy was from somewhere in South America, and He had moved here to take a job as an engineer. We only chatted for a few days before we met. I didn't know a lot, but I thought he seemed educated and polite so that was a good enough starting place. We agreed to meet at Roja on a Monday night for a margarita. It turned out to be the longest one hour date I've ever been on! 

Señor was much shorter and more slender than he had appeared in his profile pics. (On a side note, this has happened before that someone looked smaller in person. The good news about this is that if it's happened to them, perhaps I might look thinner in person!) 

Anyway, back to the story... He also had a limp and a rather crooked posture. I tried to focus on getting to know him for his personality, but this was very difficult because I could barely understand the man when he spoke! 

His accent was so thick that our conversation was painfully speckled with "what's" and "could you repeat that's." Roja was deserted on this particular Monday, and I could tell the staff were aware and sympathetic to my blind date. My mind was starting to wander towards the cute bartender as Señor was insisting on turning drinks into dinner. He was very sweet and kept asking if I was hungry and offering to order me something else. The wait staff were making frequent checks on our table - most likely because they were betting on the outcome of our blind date - and each time they stopped, he offered again to order dinner. 

I checked my phone for the time, thinking it must have been about 4 hours. I was wrong. 58 long minutes later, we were nearly ready to part ways. He then made several invitations to come have paella with his family. His relatives that lived in Omaha apparently had big paella dinners every week, and he insisted I should come. It actually sounded fun to go to a big Latin family paella party, but I couldn't bear to suffer through more of our difficult conversation. 

I never went out with Señor again, but he did email from time to time. Recently, he also found me on a different dating site, which makes me realize that all the pools must be running dry if I'm experiencing reruns on other sites. He is a sweet man, and I hope he can share his paella with someone special. It just wasn't meant to be me. 

Moral of today's story:  Sometimes you have to throw the fish back in the pond before you make paella. Not just any fish will do when you're cooking such a delicate dish!